Topic: CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP TIPS (1) By Pastor Faith Oyedepo Living Faith Church [ Winners Chapel] 5 February 2022
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CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP TIPS (1)
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the first part of this teaching, titled ‘Christian Courtship Tips’. Courtship is a period you, your friends, children, and other relations will definitely pass through in life if you have not done so already. The way it is handled at the time will determine to a large extent, the success or failure of your future family. Therefore, this month, I will be showing on how to make the most of your courtship period in preparing for a successful marriage.
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Courtship is not just the time for munching dinner and slurping ice cream together at fast food restaurant. It is the period between when a couple formerly agrees to marry and when they actually marry. Concerning the birth of Jesus, the Scripture says that Mary was espoused to Joseph, …. a virgin espoused to man whose name was Joseph …(Luke 1:27). Matthew 1:18also says, … Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together…. This, in other words, meant that there was a marriage intention between Mary and Joseph, and they were in courtship as they had not come together physically yet.
Courtship can be likened to the seasoning ingredients you use before preparing a soup. How, what and when you put the ingredients determine the taste of the soup. Courtship is a time you both learn to discover God together. It is a time you are left with the responsibility of finding out, with all sincerity, if you truly agree (Amos 3:3). Also, you have to find out what both of you have in common and if you both have a common vision. It is a time to discover your own pillars that would make your marriage successful. My husband discovered seven pillars before marriage, and received more insight during our courtship, hence the success in our family life. My husband and I courted for six years, and its effect is speaking now as it gave me ample time to know all about the things he was doing and what to expect in future. You cannot know someone completely, no matter how long you court, but the longer, the better. If you court for only a week or less, then you will need God’s special grace in your marriage. This is because knowing each other will last almost a lifetime, while learning about each other will also take time. However, you are better off when you know quite a lot about someone. A reasonable length for a courtship period is a necessity you cannot afford to overlook. In Genesis 29:20-30, Jacob courted Rachel for seven years but was given Leah. Even after that, he still had to court again for another seven years for Racheal! In fact, it was seven years and seven days with Leah’s week inclusive.
Our marriage is a testimony of God’s goodness, faithfulness, love and power from day one till now. I have never had any cause to regret being married to my husband. I often say that if there was anything like ‘another life’, I would still want to be married to my husband again and in heaven; I would love my mansion to be built next to his. Therefore, do not rush into marriage; spend time to look before you leap. Many have rushed into marriage only to discover the true identity of the person they are living with at a time that is too late. A lady once came to inform me of her marriage intentions. I wanted to find out a few things from her and ask a few questions. So, I booked an appointment with her, but the appointment could not hold, but the next time I met her, she was already married. The look on her face showed she needed help, and I later discovered that the man she married had been living outside the country for many years and had just come back, so they did not really know each other. Of course, she was in a hurry to get married so she could travel back with him.
You can discover yours better during courtship by finding out what the Word of God says concerning marriage. Yours may not necessarily be less than seven pillars, but there must be something strong in God’s Word that will command His presence so easily in your future home. One of God’s promises concerning marriage is found in Proverbs 18:20-22, which says, A man’s belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. This means that you are at your best when you are married. Marriage promotes, rewards financially, spiritually, mentally and all round. It also means that being married opens you up to favour with God, which commands favour from everywhere else. All you need to do is to call forth your desires with your own mouth.
Courtship is your time for good preparation and planning on how, what, where, when and which way you would want your home to be run. It may sound unbelievable, but at courtship, you should be able to know what to call your first child! By doing this, your faith concerning fruitfulness and your confidence is in place. Planning at this period plays an important role in determining the success of the home in view. Jesus teaching in Luke 14:28-32brought out the importance of planning, For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation; and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, Saying this man began to build and was not able to finish. Or what king, going to make war against another king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace. A good home does not drop from heaven; it is built, and good buildings require good planning. It is a time when both of you share the Word, keep up with its truth, commandments and intercede prayerfully for each other concerning your future. Remember, if you lay a faulty foundation, you will suffer the consequence of a faulty marriage in future.
However, laying a good foundation is easy when you are born again. This is because God makes His help available to you. You become born again when you confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you would like to do so now, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I believe You died and rose again for my sake. Forgive me of my sins, take over my life, make me Your child and let Your peace reign over my life. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!
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