Topic: UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION (1) By Pastor Faith Oyedepo Living Faith Church [ Winners Chapel] 10 July 2022
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UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION (1)
Dear Reader
I welcome you to this great month, and I pray that your desires shall be fulfilled. This month, I will be examining one of the vital factors that can be of great help in your relationship with your spouse. A lot has been said about communication, but I will be approaching this topic in a new way and dwelling more on solving communication issues. Having a good understanding of what communication means will go a long way in helping you avoid its breakdown. In this edition, I will be examining ‘Understanding Communication’.
A man that seeks knowledge will increase in wisdom. The Bible says: Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding (Proverbs 4:7).
What then is Communication?
Communication is the art of carrying on a meaningful conversation. The dictionary defines it as ‘The art of passing information across; the transference of thoughts’. Someone also simply puts it as an act of transmitting information and ideas from one person to another; it involves a sender and a receiver. So, effective communication must be in two ways. In the case of family communication, both husband and wife must participate in conversations before it can be said to be communication. Once there is free access to each other, it becomes a time of sweet fellowship.
The basis for a fruitful and lasting relationship in the family is effective communication; it is the key to success in marriage. Communication can be said to be the glue that binds the marital relationship together. Lack of communication is the reason behind so much tension within many homes. A wise man once said, ‘If you talk together, you stay together’, and I believe this very strongly.
For instance, concerning the first family; God commanded Adam not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Adam believed but failed to effectively communicate the seriousness of that instruction to Eve. So, she thought it was a minor issue. Lack of adequate communication brought about their fall. You shall not fall in Jesus’ name!
Furthermore, communication in marriage could be likened to a life-giving river. When husband and wife cannot communicate, a huge dam is built, thereby stopping the flow of water. This causes everything around them to suffer and slowly die; so the seeds planted cannot grow. This way, the spouse develops a strong inward thirst for their unmet needs, which eventually causes multiple cracks throughout the relationship. Many promising marriages have been ruined because of communication breakdowns. Your marriage will not break down in Jesus’ name!
However, to enjoy a free flow of communication with your spouse, you must develop good communication with God. Hebrews 3:4 helps us understand that although every house is built by men, He that builds all things is God. Thus, God is the ultimate Builder of the family. That is why once a man or woman lacks effective communication with God, the communication between others is affected. Therefore, let the communication lines between you and God be open all the time. Learn to rub minds with Him and as you do, His great mind will rub off on your little mind, making it sharper. Personally, I have found that God helps us communicate better with each other; I have never had difficulty expressing myself to my husband nor has he to me because we give utmost priority to our relationship with God.
Kinds of Communication
Communication can either be verbal or non-verbal. While verbal communication simply means passing across a piece of information using words, non-verbal involves the use of actions, facial expressions etc. The Bible says: Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed (1 Samuel 2:3). Beyond what comes out of your mouth, your actions speak louder too.
Mastering the art of verbal communication is a major secret to success in family life. In verbal communication, it is wise to mention that in a bid to air their minds, some people can say just anything and at any time, and this shows a lack of discretion. Weigh your words carefully before saying them because words are as fragile as raw eggs; once broken, they cannot be gathered. While some men call their wives and children terrible names, particularly out of anger, some women are experts in nagging. That is an abuse of your tongue; God did not create the tongue to speak evil words but as an instrument of edification. Many people abuse the use of their tongues because they do not know the purpose of the same. When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable! The Bible says: Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof (Proverbs 18:21). Also, Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth (Proverbs 6:2).
Today, some homes are badly damaged and in big trouble because the tongue is not being controlled; they are victims of corrupt communication. But Ephesians 4:29 places the responsibility on us. It says: Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth… So, you have to control what proceeds out of your mouth.
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Also, in non-verbal communication, there is a way you express displeasure without uttering a word. There is an adage that says, ‘Action speaks louder than words’. Just by watching your spouse’s body language, you can tell when he/she is angry, sad, excited, etc. The longer you live together with someone, the more you are able to read his or her body language. That is non-verbal communication. Remember, communication is not only vital for husbands and wives, it is also for all members of the family. Therefore, keep the communication lines open. Do not allow the enemy tamper with it.
To enjoy effective communication in your home, you must first build a personal relationship with God, and building a personal relationship with God begins at salvation. So, if you are not born again, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today acknowledging that I am a sinner who needs Your forgiveness. I believe You died for me and rose again on the third day. Forgive me my sins, wash me with Your Blood and write my name in the Book of life. Thank You Lord for saving me.
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