Controlling Anger by Pastor David Ibiyeomie
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Topic: Controlling Anger
Eph. 4:26 -Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion but it’s unhealthy when it flares up all the time or spirals out of control. Chronic, explosive anger has serious consequences for your relationships, your health and your state of mind. It is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger is an emotion often characterized by feelings of great displeasure, indignation, hostility, wrath and vengeance. Reacting in anger is how people express their dissatisfaction with life. Anger begins with a feeling that’s often expressed in words or actions.
Anger, not expressed, can create other problems. It can lead to passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile.
Some of the root causes of anger include injustice, strife, impatience, abuse, unmet needs, jealousy (Cain and Abel –Gen.4)
Also Read: Avoid Excuses by Pastor David Ibiyeomie
Eph. 4:27 -And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness].Amp
CONSEQUENCES OF UNCONTROLLED ANGER
1 Missing your place in Destiny:
Num. 20:11-12 – Then Moses raised his hand [in anger] and with his rod he struck the rock twice [instead of speaking to the rock as the Lord had commanded]. And the water poured out abundantly, and the congregation and their livestock drank [fresh water]. 12 But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you have not believed (trusted) Me, to treat Me as holy in the sight of the sons of Israel, you therefore [b]shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.” {AMP}
Moses was disqualified from crossing the finish-line; from going into the land of promise – the place that he was headed towards because out of anger, he did not follow God’s instruction. Probably, he had been suppressing his anger towards the Israelites and one day, it busted like a volcano.
Luke 6:45 – A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
You might be suppressing anger in your heart but what is in your heart will one day come out and the longer you suppress it because of your discipline, the longer it stores within like a volcano waiting to happen.
Matt. 15:18 – But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
It is not a matter of containing your tongue; it is the heart that matters. Therefore, see anger as a mirror you use to see the content of your heart. Those words that you felt that just slipped out of your mouth in the heat of anger was actually a description of your heart. You probably have been concealing it until that situation brought out what was inside of you. The situation or person you are angry with has nothing to do with what you said; it has everything to do with your heart. The anger only revealed what was in your heart.
Proverbs 18:21 -Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
I wonder how many promised lands you have missed out on because you could not control your anger. What the situation did was to show you what is already in you and if you don’t realize it, you will be locked out of further promised lands and places of destiny that you could have been part of but that will not be your portion in Jesus name!. You have to understand that what is in your heart will come out of your mouth sooner or later. So, work on your heart.
2 Anger affects one’s health. Constantly operating at high levels of stress and anger makes you more susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.
3 Anger damages relationships with others. Anger is much more likely to damage your relationships, impair your judgment, get in the way of success and have a negative impact on the way people see you. It causes lasting scars in the people you love most and gets in the way of friendships and work relationships. Explosive anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly or feel comfortable—and is especially damaging to children.
STRATEGIES TO KEEP ANGER AT BAY
1 Think before you speak: In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others
2 Make the relationship your priority: Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.
3 Identify possible solutions: Instead of focusing on what made you angry, work on resolving the issue at hand. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
4 Focus on the present. Once you are in the heat of arguing, it’s easy to start throwing past grievances into the mix. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the present to solve the problem.
5 Don’t hold a grudge: Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for your losses but only adds to your injury.
God bless you
Pastor David Ibiyeomie is the presiding Pastor of Salvation Ministries – Home of Success; one of the fastest growing and spreading churches in the world. He pastors millions of worshippers spread across the globe with Headquarters presently located at Plot 17 Birabi Street, GRA Phase 1, Port Harcourt in Rivers State of Nigeria.
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